Karl Kermes says ending a relationship takes courage

Theatre producer Karl Kermes says a relationship can be saved only if both partners want to work on it, and that leaving one can take great courage. He spoke about divorce and turning his personal story into a stage production on ERR’s programme Hommik Anuga.

Kermes divorced in November last year after 13 years of marriage. He said he began developing the production with Maria Peterson-Aardam and Ott Aardam while looking for socially relevant material. From January, he was living alone with his daughter; his son lives in England.

Everyday difficulties made Kermes feel that something was seriously wrong. Medical tests were normal, and his family doctor thought he was exhausted. The doctor also suggested he talk about the divorce and the experience of being a parent on his own. Kermes said single fathers often do not speak about these challenges.

Kermes said he and his former wife tried to save the relationship, including by seeing a therapist, but did not manage to overcome the crisis together. Their creative collaboration, he added, had worked very well.

His parents also divorced, when he was 10. Kermes said he is now in a new relationship and that there is no such thing as an ideal partner. He said people who decide to stay together deserve credit, but those who choose to leave are also showing courage.