Emma Tross uses drama school to escape her own head

Emma Tross, a first-year drama student, said she wanted to enter the school to get herself out of her own head. Speaking to ERR’s Vikerraadio, she described herself as someone who worries excessively and for others, and said a recent ADHD diagnosis had helped explain why reading and other tasks had always required so much effort.

Tross is currently taking part in the school’s freshman initiation week, which she said had left students exhausted. Teachers had responded surprisingly well to the demanding schedule, she said, even telling students they would not receive homework during the week.

“It has been very exciting, from morning until evening. There is no time to sleep, and at the same time you still have to attend school,” said first-year student Markus Ian Monak.

For Tross, being accepted into drama school had been a lifelong dream. The initial happiness lasted about seven minutes, she said, before she realised how demanding the programme would be and that the students would effectively be living at school for the coming years. “The fear has not gone away,” she said.

“I really wanted to get into that school so I could shake myself out of my own head,” Tross said. “If there is something to worry about, I worry about it. In both theatre and my personal life, I want to get myself out of my head, and perhaps this school will help me.”

She said reading required enormous effort and that she had spent much of her life believing she was simply lazy or unable to read books. A recent ADHD diagnosis had brought clarity, she said, adding that the condition can be difficult to diagnose in women because they often continue to perform well despite struggling privately.

Tross said she would like to play arrogant, cold and calculating women. “I have not had the chance to show that side of myself in real life,” she said with a smile.

She also said she was trying, for the first time, to stop planning everything. Tross has already thought about being 27 when she graduates, finding a husband, having children and building a career. “I am a planner, and now I am not planning,” she said.

Tross said she had never used narcotic substances and had only seen them in films until she witnessed people close to her using them. She also said she had chosen love throughout her life but was now choosing friendship instead after being disappointed. People, rather than love itself, were to blame, she said, adding that she usually blamed herself regardless of whether she was at fault.