School refusal signs are appearing earlier, psychologist says

Children are showing signs of school refusal at increasingly young ages, Kristi Feldman, a school psychologist at Kiili Upper Secondary School, told ERR. She said the problem is often linked to high social expectations that children must either do everything perfectly or not at all.

“It seems to me that there are more and more of these young people every year. In fact, we may no longer be talking only about young people, but already about children,” Feldman said.

She said school refusal is a situation in which a child’s needs and their environment are not in balance. Something in the environment makes the child feel that they do not want to go there, and the reasons can vary widely.

Among young people, school refusal and mental health problems often become more apparent at the onset of puberty, when they begin asking who they are and what they are doing in the world. Concerns about finishing school and deciding what to do next can also emerge at that time.

School refusal is most common in the third stage of basic school, Feldman said, but the signs are usually visible earlier. Some primary school children do not want to attend school, while some children entering first grade struggle to adapt.

“We also see excellent students who suddenly disappear from school one day. They cannot keep coming, they cannot get up in the morning, and they simply cannot come to school,” Feldman said.

Feldman said children are growing up in an information-rich and progressive society that expects a great deal from them without giving them enough time to develop in an age-appropriate and individual way.

“This kind of progressive society creates the expectation that you must always be exceptional. You have to do everything as well as possible,” she said, adding that children may feel pressure to compete and win in sports, achieve good grades and stand out in a particular field.

Children adopt these expectations and begin demanding a great deal from themselves, Feldman said. They can become extremely self-critical.

When school refusal has become established, it can also be accompanied by burnout. While an adult can take several months of sick leave after burning out, a young person feels that they are constantly falling behind.