Parents of autistic boy refuse to hide from the world

Erika and her husband are raising their five-year-old autistic son while staying active in everyday life, telling LRT that they will not hide away from the world. Erika says she wants her son to become independent and does not want to shield him from everything.

Erika was born and grew up in Alytus, a small city. At 18, she moved to Vilnius with her boyfriend, now her husband, to study. After completing their studies and starting a family, the couple decided to return to Alytus. The family now lives in Alytus district.

Erika says the city offers the family accessible services, good educational institutions and plenty of green space, while Vilnius and Kaunas are nearby. Having relatives in Alytus also helped convince the couple to return. She says she and her husband now attend cultural events more often, both in Alytus and in other cities.

Erika recalls that her pregnancy was difficult: doctors identified slowed fetal growth from the 30th week. Her son was born at 37 weeks, but his physical development was equivalent to that of a 34-week-old baby. The family began taking him to physiotherapy in his first month and closely monitored his development.

His parents were pleased with his physical progress, but after he turned one they noticed that he had stopped making sounds and did not respond when called by name. Before his second birthday, Erika asked for a referral to a social paediatrician. After an assessment in Vilnius, the family was told he likely had autism spectrum disorder. The diagnosis was confirmed that year.

Erika says she went through what she describes as all five stages of grief, including a long period of denial when she hoped her son would grow out of it. She says her husband may have accepted the information and moved through those stages more quickly.

The family’s routine now includes work, kindergarten, therapy, a sanatorium and a child development centre. Erika says she is especially grateful that both grandmothers have made an effort to understand their grandson’s needs. When they see he is tired, they let him go to another room and spend time alone.

That understanding, Erika says, allows the couple to go out and relax rather than live only within their own family bubble. She says the family faces challenges but is pleased with her son’s growing independence.