Music helped Kaisa Kuslapuu escape bullying at school

Musician Kaisa Kuslapuu said music school helped her endure a basic school experience marked by bullying and physical violence, ERR’s Vikerraadio reported.

Speaking on the programme “Heli nälg,” Kuslapuu recalled that music had been part of her family. Her mother loved choral singing and said Kuslapuu’s grandparents had sung in two-part harmony. Since nobody in the family played an instrument, her mother encouraged her to attend music school.

Kuslapuu did not attend kindergarten but stayed at home with her grandmother. A kitchen radio played from morning until evening, so the house was rarely quiet. As a child, Kuslapuu began listening more closely to song lyrics and was surprised that adults sang about their worries and problems.

“As a child, I understood that adults’ view of life was sad,” she said.

Kuslapuu began attending music school before starting regular school and entered the second grade of basic school. She said she was upset that her older brother had received a primer when he started school, while she did not.

She also loved reading books and poetry from an early age.

“Thank God I was able to attend music school alongside regular school, because I do not know what I would otherwise have done,” Kuslapuu said. “I feel that I have been very resilient, but was there really a need for so much suffering at school?”

She described her basic school experience as very difficult. By the time she entered the second grade, groups had already formed, and there was a lot of physical violence among the boys. The girls also tried to assert themselves against one another in their own ways.

“It felt like being in a zoo. You made yourself very small and tried not to get in anyone’s way. I was always waiting for the moment when I could go to music school,” she recalled.

Kuslapuu studied piano at music school for seven years. In the 10th grade, she also studied violin for a year.

She attended 10th grade in Võru but decided she did not want to remain there for another two years. She had hoped the situation would improve after the ninth grade, when the student group changed, but said the new students made her feel she was still in the wrong place.

At the age of 16, Kuslapuu wrote an essay for a literature class expressing her disappointment with the school system. She said she was effectively the only student in her class following the regular curriculum, while expectations for other students had been lowered so far that she felt embarrassed in front of the teachers.

Although she immediately regretted submitting the essay, her teacher responded with a letter of similar length. The teacher advised her to leave and study in Tartu, where the teacher had relatives, and to find an environment in which she could learn well.

That prompted Kuslapuu to consider leaving Võru. A friend’s mother then asked whether she would like to attend the Eller music school in Tartu. Kuslapuu said she had never heard of the school before.