Single father finds Father’s Day difficult to discuss with pupils

Tarmo Tõnismann, a teacher at Pärnu Tammsaare School, says he tries to be a role model for his pupils, many of whom have fathers far away. He spoke to ERR’s programme Ringvaade about the challenges of discussing Father’s Day with his class.

Tõnismann teaches a second-grade class of 13 pupils, most of them from Ukraine. He described the class as close-knit and said the children were affectionate and hardworking. All of his Ukrainian pupils see him as a superhero.

He teaches Estonian and mathematics, and sometimes takes the class on imaginary trips around the world without leaving the classroom. The idea began when a pupil brought him a fridge magnet from a trip. The class now uses magnets to mark places on a map, and Tõnismann has collected 672 of them.

Tõnismann said the pupils are curious and enjoy sharing their travel experiences. He described watching them develop, learn the language and become familiar with Estonian culture as one of the most rewarding parts of teaching.

Most of the children live in Estonia with their mother, or with their mother and grandmother. Their fathers are in Ukraine or elsewhere, which makes Father’s Day a difficult subject, Tõnismann said. He can find it hard to talk about too, and sometimes feels sad. The children joke that their female assistant teacher is their second mother and Tõnismann is their second father.

Tõnismann said his own experience as a single father for a period of time helps him understand the children. He believes children need both a mother and a father, and that the absence of one parent is immediately felt.

He began teaching by chance 14 years ago, initially without teacher training. He also works for the Estonian Football Association, exercises regularly and runs a small sports club.