Parent demanding special treatment signals failed communication, says adviser

Many conflicts between schools and parents could be avoided through more open communication, Raul Kadast, head of the Rajaleidja centre, told ERR’s Terevisioon programme.

“If a parent comes in stamping their feet and says their child must be treated differently, something has already gone wrong,” Kadast said. He added that a parent who has reached the point of making demands is likely frustrated because they have not been heard or received the help they need.

Kadast said the situation required taking a step back and identifying the actual problem.

Parent Triin Oldekop said she had spoken with her child’s class teacher after schools reopened following the first year of the coronavirus pandemic. She asked that if her child failed to complete an assignment, the work could be made up for 15 minutes before lessons in the morning rather than in the afternoon, when the child was too tired to concentrate.

Now in seventh grade, Oldekop’s child sometimes becomes bored during lessons and talks to a desk mate. She said she was working with the teacher to provide different assignments so the child would remain interested and challenged.

“The more the teacher knows about the child, the better,” Kadast said. Although adapting learning conditions creates extra work for teachers and schools, he said they should do so as far as possible to enable everyone to learn.

Oldekop said parents should contact the class teacher about small observations as well as concerns, and should also share positive experiences. This could include telling the teacher about a lesson the child had particularly enjoyed, she said, helping parents build a relationship with teachers rather than being seen only as complainers.

She added that parents were responsible for providing food from home if their child did not eat school meals.

Kadast said Rajaleidja has specialists from four fields who examine how a child has been coping at school and provide expert guidance on how to support their learning. The issues can range from health problems or physical conditions that prevent a child from eating certain foods to speech disorders.