Expert urges early talks with children about sexual abuse

Children should learn from an early age to recognise inappropriate behaviour and speak about it to adults, sexual education expert Dr Akvilė Giniotė told LRT.lt as renewed scandals of sexual exploitation shook the Catholic Church.

She said the first conversations about bodily boundaries should begin when children are very young. They should learn the names of private body parts and understand that nobody may touch them without their consent, except when a parent or doctor needs to do so for health or hygiene reasons.

Giniotė said these lessons are also taught through everyday interactions. Children should not be forced, ordered or persuaded to sit on someone’s lap, hug or kiss them. Adults should likewise avoid hugging, kissing or tickling children against their will and should check whether the child is comfortable.

Parents can also model how to speak about unwanted behaviour by telling children when their own boundaries have been crossed, she said. Conversations about boundaries begin through everyday contact, but should be reinforced by deliberate discussions.

For parents unsure how to begin, Giniotė recommends the underwear rule: children should be told that nobody may ask to see, touch, kiss or photograph anything covered by their underwear.

She urged parents not to wait for a special occasion or fear these conversations. Rather than being a single discussion, they should form a series of small conversations about bodily autonomy, ethics and the culture of touch.

Giniotė said the words used in these conversations are particularly important for preventing sexual violence. Research shows that people who know polite and appropriate terms for private body parts and feel comfortable using them can speak up at the right time and place with less stress, shame or embarrassment, helping them defend their boundaries.

According to the expert, topics related to sexuality still cause shame and discomfort for many people. When they encounter sexual exploitation, they may freeze, become confused and worry that others will see them in what feels like a shameful situation. Giving children a suitable vocabulary for private body parts can help prevent that shame and make them more comfortable discussing the subject.